


A Love Lost

by JXNELIE



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/F, F/M, Heavy Angst, i am sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-02-07 13:29:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12842184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JXNELIE/pseuds/JXNELIE
Summary: This is a series I'm writing that deals with how the Mystic Messenger characters deal with Mc's death. I will keep every character's chapter as close to their timeline/ route as I can (if they have a route). Every chapter focuses on a specific character, while others may appear in the chapter as well. This series will be centered on how they learn, process Mc's death, and the aftermath.





	A Love Lost

_“What are you thinking about?”_

_Saeyoung’s head laid on Mc’s lap as she absentmindedly played with his hair, “Hm?”_

_“You’ve got that look on your face,” Mc spoke softly as she continued to stroke his hair. “So, what are you thinking about?”_

_Saeyoung looked up at Mc and was met with inquisitive eyes, “How did I get so lucky?”_

_“What do you mean,” Mc knitted her eyebrows._

_“Of all the people on this planet, how did someone like me find someone like you. How did someone like you fall in love with someone like me?”_

_Mc shrugged, “Easy. We’re obviously soulmates.”_

_“Soulmates,” Saeyoung repeated with that goofy smile he always got when she spoke that way. “Obviously.”_

There was nothing he wanted more than to go back and relive that moment again and again.  He wanted to feel her soothing touch as he laid his head on her lap. He wanted to hear her voice as she tells him about the day, or whatever mundane thing had happened that day. He just wanted her back. There was nothing he wanted more than to see her walk through the doors of his bunker and tell him that this was all just some sick, twisted prank and that she was okay… but he knew that would never happen.

He had been by her side as she took her last breath in that hospital bed. The harsh fluorescent lights of that hospital room stole the color in her cheeks long before death did. He watched through tear-filled eyes as the love of his life struggled to formulate a coherent sentence, “Sae… young…”

“I’m right here, honey,” he tried his best to sound at ease, but his voice wavered.

“Not your fault,” she mumbled. Her eyes began to close and Saeyoung quickly called for a nurse as he tried to keep her eyes open.

“No no no, please don’t leave me,” the tears flowed freely as he desperately cupped Mc’s face in his hands. “Look at me, please. I need you, Mc, please don’t go. I love you. I am so completely in love with you. We’re soulmates, remember? You can’t just leave me.”

“Soulmates,” Mc repeated with a weak smile. It sounded as if she were relaying a fact; yes, they were and always will be soulmates. “I love you so much. I don’t want to go,” it was the first time that Mc let her fear show. She was scared, dear lord was she scared. She didn’t want to leave him, they still had so much they had to do together.

It broke his heart as he heard the fear in her voice and saw just how terrified she was. He decided, in that moment, that he had to push aside his own fear in order to comfort her. He didn’t want her last moments on earth, in his arms, to be filled with fear, “You’ll be okay, and I’ll be okay. I always told you-you were an angel, so you’ll fit right in.”

Mc couldn’t help but chuckle softly at her husband. She then looked him directly in the eyes, “Promise me that you won’t shut down again, okay? Don’t close yourself off because of me.”

“I promise,” it was a lie. They both knew it was a lie, but if it was what would soothe her he would say or do anything.

It was as if those two words were what she was waiting for, “I love…”

The sound that the heart monitor made when her heart stopped would haunt him for the rest of his life. When that sound rang he completely lost it. The blood-chilling scream he let out could be heard all the way in the waiting room, where the rest of the RFA sat waiting. The members sat in silence as they processed the unbelievable truth. Mc, the one who brought so much light and warmth into their once cold and broken organization was gone, and she left behind the shell of the man she loved.  It was a few minutes later, but it felt like an eternity when the red-haired man entered the waiting room. He looked… hollow. No one knew the right words to say, or if those particular words even existed; in all honesty, they didn’t.

Saeyoung looked as if he were going to say something, but quickly closed his mouth and walked out of the room. Saeran watched as his brother fled, then say as the members looked amongst each other to see who would be best equipped to chase after the broken man. They all would, they all wanted to, but they also knew that that wasn’t what Saeyoung needed. Without saying a word Saeran exited the room the same way his brother had. The door he had used led to staircases. He made his way down, wondering if his brother had managed to get to the parking garage.

He hadn’t. Saeyoung was sat on one of the steps, as if he no longer had the energy, or will, to go any further. Saeran quietly sat down beside his brother and tentatively began to rub soothing circles on his back, something he had learned from Mc. Whenever he or his brother were going through a particularly rough patch she would do this while talking to them about what was troubling them or about some random thing. The way she was able to gauge what someone needed without a word having to be spoken was incredible. Saeran didn’t have that talent, he didn’t know what to do in regards to human connections, that was something Mc had been helping him with.

Saeran knew that the pain he was feeling was only amplified by a thousand for his brother, “I’m sorry.”

Saeyoung leaned his head against Saeran’s shoulder as he cried, he didn’t say a word. Saeran wrapped his arms around his brother, just as Saeyoung had always done for him during any of his episodes. The twins sat there as they both allowed themselves to sob. Nothing would ever be the same, both within Saeyoung and the RFA.

It had been three weeks since her death and it seemed like things had only gotten worse. Vanderwood had stopped going to Saeyoung’s bunker, not out of insensitivity but because he too had grown attached to the young woman and her absence was soul crushing. The rest of the RFA had attempted to see Saeyoung, but to no avail. He never left his house and no one, except for Saeran, was allowed inside. No one had heard from Saeyoung since the day Mc was buried and they grew more concerned with every day that passed.

“Saeyoung,” Saeran knocked on his bedroom door, “um, your friends are here. I let them in.”

The speed in which the door opened had startled Saeran, “Why did you do that?”

“They wouldn’t leave.”

“Tell them to leave,” Saeyoung tried to keep his voice down. He didn’t want one of them following the sound of his voice.

“You tell them,” Saeran hoped this would work. He knew that Saeyoung would not get better unless he was pushed towards that direction, they were the same in that respect.

Saeyoung huffed as he walked passed his brother.  Saeran followed his brother as he stormed into the living room, “Leave.”

“We haven’t heard from you in three weeks, Sae-”

“Don’t,” he winced as he interrupted Jumin. “Don’t call me that.”

Maybe it was silly, but he couldn’t handle hearing his real name. The first person he had shared that name and his true self with, was the same woman he had lost those weeks ago. “Luciel,” Jumin reverted to an old alias Saeyoung used to use because he saw the look that flashed in his eyes when he spoke his real name. “We have all been very worried about you.”

“We understand that it’s difficult, Luciel but-”

“‘Difficult’”, he scoffed. “It’s much more than that, Zen. Do you have any idea what it’s like to lose the only person on this planet who knew who you really were? Do you know what it’s like to have them die in your arms while they look at you with so much fear in their eyes?”

“Yes,” Jumin answered honestly. “I had known… Jihyun… since we were children. He knew everything there is to know about me, the good and the ugly. I watched him take his last breath with a bullet wound in his chest. However, I’ve also come to learn that keeping all of those emotions, regardless of how exhausting they are, locked away is not healthy.”

Saeyoung looked at the older man in disbelief, “Yeah? How did you learn that, huh?”

“From your wife,” Jumin smiled sadly as he spoke of his dear friend.

“Sounds like something she’d do,” Saeyoung found himself smiling for the first time since that day. “She’d always talk about how everyone in this ‘damn organization is seriously messed up’. I-I don’t know what to do anymore. Everything just feels so… dull. When… When does it stop hurting so bad?”

“It doesn’t,” Jaehee took a deep breath before continuing. “Some part of you simply becomes accustomed to it, I think. That’s not to say it won’t still hurt because it will. Some days the pain will feel like it’s suffocating, but sometimes it’ll be a little more bearable.”

The rest of that day was spent sharing stories about his beloved wife, some he hadn’t even heard. He found himself genuinely smiling for the first time. The night was drawing to a close, then before he knew it the only ones in his living room were Jumin, Saeran, and himself.

“How do you deal with it,” Saeyoung asked suddenly.

Jumin shook his head, “I’m not one to ask, Luciel, I drink.”

“Right,” he relaxed into the couch. “She’d always reprimand you for that.”

“You can’t say her name, can you?”

“No.”

Jumin nodded in understanding. Saeyoung had noticed the difficulty the older man had had when he spoke Jihyun’s name earlier but chose not to comment on it. The trio continued to talk until Jumin departed. When the only people left in the house were Saeyoung and his brother he turned to face him, “Thank you.”

That was the only thing that needed to be said because those two words held so much meaning. After sometime Saeran said goodnight to his brother and retreated back to his room. Once he was alone Saeyoung allowed himself to venture into the thoughts that had terrified him for the whole of those three weeks. What if he forgot the exact color of her eyes? Or the way she used to look at him when he said something incredibly stupid? He could live with the world forgetting him, but not her. Saeyoung pulled out his cell phone from his pocket and looked through his gallery until he found the video he was searching for.

When he pressed play on the video the sound of her laughter filled the room with warmth, “What are you doing?”

He heard his voice reply, “I need evidence. No one is going to believe me unless I have actual evidence of you saying it.”

“I just said that, personally, I think you’re more attractive than Zen,” she said in between bubbles of laughter. “If you show this to him we’re both going to have to listen to at least a full hour of Zen Whining, are you prepared for that?”

“You know what, he doesn’t have to see this.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” she playfully rolled her eyes. “But, I mean it. You’re the most attractive man I’ve ever met.”

“Are you sure you don’t need these glasses more than I do.”

She playfully pushed him, and that was where the video stopped. The room was silent again, her voice was gone. The love of his life was gone, his soulmate was gone. He thought about that for a moment. Everyone always talked about finding their soulmates, and he had been lucky enough to have actually found his. But, no one is ever prepared for what it would feel like to lose that soulmate. It was like having his heart shattered into a thousand different pieces and while he was trying desperately to fix it he realized that a large chunk of it was missing. He would never be whole again because that missing part of his heart was with the one who it belonged to. He wasn’t sure if he would ever be okay, but one thing that did comfort him was that deep in his heart he knew that he would never forget a single thing about her because the two of them were soulmates, obviously.

 


End file.
